If I want God do to something in my life He has never done before, I must be willing to pray something that I have never prayed before. This is a story about faith and fearlessness, or at least the journey that led me to discover how to exercise and operate in these divine inheritances (Romans 12:3. 2 Timothy 1:7). In this three part saga, I revisit the miraculous series of events that led me and my wife to Free Chapel.
“Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished."
1 Chronicles 28:20
Part One: The Cave
Chapter One: Scrooge McDuck's Poolboy
Sometimes, it seems as though God takes a long time to answer our prayers. Other times, He answers them right away, and in wholly unexpected ways. So, what is the difference? As Pastor James once taught me, God empathizes with our wants and needs, but it is our faith that attracts and activates the providence and promises of God. This is a story about faith and fearlessness, or at least the journey that led me to discover how to exercise and operate in these divine inheritances. (Romans 12:3. 2 Timothy 1:7)
I remember the exciting and yet stressful months leading up to graduating from college. I had a part-time job supporting the school’s technology department while I participated in a variety of leadership roles. I was eager to experience what God had next for my life, but I felt as if the once wide-open doors around me were beginning to close. I applied for full-time positions within the university system and beyond, but I kept hearing the same sentiment: “Sorry, you’re just overqualified and we don’t believe that we will be able to retain you.” Many of these employers knew me well and cared about me personally and professionally. However, I could not help but feel hurt, confused and afraid. What I did not know at the time was that through these closed door experiences, God was preparing me for a “Strangely Wrapped Gift.” He was setting me up for something greater. He was pushing me out of my comfort zone and giving me opportunities to do more than I ever dreamed was possible. I was experiencing “The Blessing of the Busted Nest.”
A few months before graduation, my office department hired a new manager, but not just any manager. This holy roller was sent straight from heaven. She was a Spirit-filled, gospel-choir singing evangelical powerhouse! This was an unusual hire for a secular learning environment and the spiritual atmosphere at work changed overnight. She would blast Christian music from her office, and she did not care who heard it. The dissenters started to drop off like flies. She was a breath of fresh air. She soon took notice of me and asked about my plans for the future. We started sharing praise reports and prayer requests daily and I felt encouraged by her consistent walk with the Lord.
Weeks before graduation, she called me into her office and said, “I’ve been praying about your job situation, and I have a friend from church who I want to introduce you to. She is a director at one of the largest consulting firms in the world. It’s a longshot, but I feel like you two should meet.”
Within days, I was scheduled for the first of six rounds of interviews. I went from being “overqualified” to having no qualifications at all, while competing with a pool of talented candidates whose lifelong dream was to work for this company. I prayed without ceasing, and round after round, I was given favor upon favor. Within three weeks, I had an offer letter. I was overwhelmed with thanksgiving and praise. During orientation, one of the company’s vice presidents found me and said, “I just wanted to see who set the land speed record.” I asked what that meant, and someone whispered “On average, it takes a candidate six to nine months from round-one interviews to the start date. He wants to know how you did it in three weeks.” I responded by simply saying, “favor, I guess.” When pressed, I explained that most job requirements can be learned and developed, but quality of character often determines potential. Although they typically never say it, most employers are looking for three main attributes in an employee – someone who is smart, hardworking, and easy to get along with. Capacity, diligence, and a consistently positive attitude are worth their weight in gold. In most cases, people do not quit jobs. People quit people.
Soon after, I would begin working for the smallest department in the company, but with the highest grossing revenue. My team of twelve provided technology solutions to some of the largest companies in the world, grossing billions of dollars. I felt accomplished on the outside, but somehow dissatisfied within. The problem was that in all my praying, I never took the time to ask God if He wanted me to have the job. I was looking for His approval, rather than His permission. I was helping to generate great wealth but without any real purpose. I felt like Scrooge McDuck’s pool boy, shoveling dump trucks full of gold into his already overflowing swimming pool. I had accomplished what many dream of doing, but I was miserable. As hard as I prayed to get the job, I was now praying for a way out.
Chapter Two: From the Concrete Jungle to the Man Cave
As my Father, God cares less about my comfort than the condition of my soul. As my Teacher, God will not allow me to graduate from one season to the next until I pass His test. As my best Friend, God does this because He loves me and wants me to be prepared for His next assignment. The testing seasons from God are often cumulative and require the completion of important prerequisites. Even if I fail, “His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my weakness” (2 Cor. 12:10). However, His grace is not a free pass or a license to sin, but rather a second chance to surrender and do it His way. The best part of it all is that He wants me to pass the test. He wants me to succeed. “He rejoices over me with singing,” and I never walk alone (Zep. 3:17). Chronic fatigue, depression, and addiction are often a result of living a season of life on rerun.
I’m thankful to be able to share a story with you about how I helped someone else break through a cyclical season, so that I could graduate from one of my own. It reminds me of Proverbs 11:25, which says, “He who refreshes others will be refreshed himself.”
As difficult as it was working in a godless environment, the Lord was showing me how to “set my face like flint” in preparation for the next season (Isaiah 50:7). If hindsight is 20/20, then it is clear to see how God was orchestrating those events to further mold me into His likeness. If I had not gone through that season, I would not have acquired the knowledge, experience, and perseverance under trial to go where He was sending me.
The change in season started when I decided to do something for someone else. My sister had recently married and I decided I wanted to give my new brother-in-law a special gift. I knew that a sword would be the perfect gesture to honor him. Although I did not know anything about swords, I do love a good treasure hunt. During my search, I found a local seller who lived five minutes from my house. Upon visiting him, I was shocked and amazed by his museum-like home. He had countless real one-hundred-dollar bills epoxied from floor to ceiling like wallpaper. He had suits of armor in every room and ornate weaponry from every historical time period. His home resembled a hidden cavern, filled with rare and beautiful treasures. After being welcomed back and spending several subsequent visits with him and hearing more of his story, I realized that he could be part of my next assignment.
I learned that he was one of eBay’s first professional sellers, starting his online business back in 1999. He was awarded countless achievements for helping to shape the e-commerce industry. However, as successful as he had been professionally, he was spiritually, emotionally, and physically bankrupt. I would soon discover that he was a high-functioning alcoholic, consuming a half-liter of vodka every day. That is the equivalent of sixteen shots, every single day. What was worse was his choice in friends. He was shot nine times by one of his previous employees, who was high on heroine. He was dead for fifteen minutes before doctors could revive him to operate. He described a vivid and horrific experience of standing at the gates of hell. All hope for this man seemed lost, until he remembered something he had learned as a child, “that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father” (Phil. 2:10-11). In complete desperation, he cried out “Jesus! Please help me!” It was only in that moment that his heart began to beat again. Little did I know that God had allowed him to go through hell in order to reveal the condition of his soul, so that he might be open and receptive to hearing the gospel once again.
His rollercoaster lifestyle was filled with high-highs and low-lows but without any balance. He had such great potential, but he kept squandering his time, talent, and treasure on fruitless pursuits. I knew that if someone did not intervene, his body would eventually succumb to the extreme alcoholism. After spending a great deal of time with him over many visits, and through prayerful consideration, I presented him with an unusual business offer. I said, “I will get you sober and help you run your business if you teach me how to operate an online store.” Without hesitation, he said “Yes, I accept. No one has ever offered to help me get sober.” We started the next day, and soon after, I resigned from my concrete jungle high-rise.
Over the next nine months, we worked twelve-hour days, six days a week. However, I had so much fun that it never seemed like work. All the experience I had acquired had prepared me to excel in every part of this role, and I would have been ill-equipped to handle the complexity of our venture had I not gone through the discomfort of the previous season. The truly challenging part was getting him to drink less and eat more. In the beginning, there were many nights that I would spoon feed him using the old “chugga chugga choo-choo train” baby feeding trick. Dealing with the intense withdrawal symptoms and night tremors was exhausting. I would often loose him, later finding him unconscious in strange places on the floor or outside. I would take him to church as often as he was willing to get in the car without a fight. It was not easy, but it was worth it, and through a lot of prayer, some tough love, a rewards-based system, and a yielded spirit, he overcame that demon and recommitted his life to Christ. “Little by Little,” he weened himself off of the bottle and began to walk in maturity and freedom. Little by little, that old wineskin of a man began to experience “beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, [and] the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness” (Isaiah 61:3).
Because of his experience and connections, our main selling categories were in hunting, camping, survival, and self-defense weapons that do not require a permit. By the end of our first year together, we had twelve employees and I had given away three cars. Most people don’t know this about me, but during that time, I was considered one of the top three weapons dealers in the country. The irony was that, apart from that season, I have never owned a single weapon. We later expanded into the hot sauce industry, carrying over three thousand different varieties and becoming one of the largest hot sauce distributors on Amazon. We called ourselves “The Man Cave.”
It was during these adventures that I met my wife, Erin, who became an integral part of our daily business operations. Eventually, and as a group, we decided it was time to dissolve The Man Cave so that he and I could form two separate, and non-competing companies and cordially part ways. In forming our new company, Erin decided on the name “Let It Shine, LLC” and just like that, a new chapter and a new season had begun.
Chapter Three: When Heaven Shakes, Earthquakes!
With each new season of life, I try to take inventory of the choices and events that led me there. “Was it worth it?” “Is it working?” “Is Jesus still at the center?”
On the surface, our place in life appeared secure. My wife and I had built and were operating multiple successful companies simultaneously. We had close relationships with all our family members. And we were incredibly active in our local church and community.
However, deep down inside, I kept feeling a sense of unrest, and not one rooted in anxiety, but one of a higher calling. I have experienced these mountaintop reflections before, knowing that God was preparing me in advance to walk through the next valley. Although there is a temptation to linger on the mountaintop, fruit only grows in the valley. The mountaintop is the distribution center.
On January first and second of the next year, I had a vivid dream in two parts. I recorded the dream and shared it with a small group of trusted mentors. The feedback I received was so emotionally charged and polarizing, that I was advised not to share the dream publicly in its entirety to avoid unnecessary conflict or confusion. Therefore, I will simply share a portion of the dream that I believe is most pertinent to the unfolding of this testimony.
Immediately, I appeared in an outdoor café. There were people gathered around many tables. Most of the tables were full. At each table sat, on average, 3 to 4 people. I could hear the low murmur of voices coming from the conversations at each table, but I could not understand what was being spoken.
I knew my time in this place would be brief, so in an effort to determine where I was, I looked for anything out of the ordinary. Directly in front of me sat an entire family – a father, a mother, and several small children. They were the only people I communicated with in this place. I asked them, “How did you get here?” The husband and father answered, “We all died in a house fire.”
Everyone there had been killed or had died in an accident unexpectedly. At each table, sat 1-2 teachers, who were different in appearance than the people whom they accompanied. I believed them to be angels. They were speaking to each person, some in different languages, and sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It was an invitation.
As I looked around, I noticed that the café was not open for business, or any other store on that street. There were no cars. There was no electricity. It was always light outside and never dark. Most importantly, I noticed that there were no earthly distractions of any kind, so it was very easy to focus on the details of the dream. The people at each table were listening intently to the teachers, because they understood the gravity of their situations. The only noise that could be heard was the low murmur of voices conversing at each table.
As I looked across the street, I saw a building that appeared to have a constant shadow cast upon it. The mere thought of approaching the building made me feel sick and uneasy and left a bad smell in my nostrils. I felt a force field protecting me from going any closer. I believe that building was placed across the street as an option for any person who did not accept and receive Jesus. Each person had a choice. I felt that once they entered the building with the shadow cast upon it, they would not be allowed to come back out.
I felt myself being drawn to turn around and enter another building on the same side of the street as the café. As I entered this building, it looked like a restaurant but there was nothing to eat or drink. The shelves were all empty. The scene was the same as the outdoor café. Many people sat around tables listening to the teachers that accompanied them. As I entered, a few people looked up at me from their tables, locking eyes only momentarily, and then returned to their conversations. Again, it was well lit, but without any electricity. There were no distractions of any kind and all that could be heard was the low murmur of voices at each table.
Again, I tried to look for anything out of the ordinary to determine the meaning of this place. Standing just inside the entrance, I looked to my right and saw what looked like a water spigot peculiarly attached to the wall. As I approached the spigot, I noticed a pair of gloves laying on a table next to the spigot. They were so caked in dirt that they were rigid and inflexible. There were layers upon layers of dry dirt encasing the gloves.
There was a button as well as a faucet handle attached to the spigot. First, I pushed the button and red wine came shooting out, spraying one of the occupied tables. I found this a little amusing. Although the wine hit some people sitting at the table, they didn’t seem to care. They were so intently focused on their conversations that nothing else mattered, even wine soaked clothing.
On my second attempt, I turned the handle of the spigot. Red wine came pouring out. I knew that this wine was not for drinking, but for cleansing. I began to clean the dirt encrusted gloves under the running faucet. Immediately, the dirt washed off, exposing white woven work gloves. After the gloves were completely clean, I put them on. They were a perfect fit.
I prayed for the interpretation, and the next day the Holy Spirit hand delivered it to my front door.
During a surprise visit from my wife’s parents, whom I dearly love, they gifted me a signed copy of Dr. Mark Rutland’s new book, 21 Seconds to Change Your World. As they handed me the book, I felt a spiritual change in the atmosphere. I have experienced these heavenly tectonic shifts before and I knew that somehow, everything was about to change.
As I opened the book, I saw Dr. Mark’s inscription written below the dedication, which read,
“To all who, down but not out,
rise from the mat,
lift their weary gloves,
and wade back in for more.”
Chills engulfed my body and I felt overwhelmed by the attention I was receiving from the Holy Spirit, because this passage was a beautiful allegory of my dream in both form and function.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTARY
The book 21 Seconds to Change Your Word is about the Lord’s prayer. The book’s dedication was not a confirmation of my dream as a prophetic vision, but rather, an inspirational quote to help me understand the importance of the gloves as a symbol. I believe the gloves represent my participation in God’s purpose and plan for my life through faith in action (Ephesians 2:10). The red wine represents the blood of Jesus that cleanses me from sin and separation, unites me with my Heavenly Father, and commissions me to share the gospel (Matthew 28:18-20). Dr. Mark was referring to boxing gloves, and much like the book, “Shadowboxing,” by Dr. Henry Malone, the principles throughout each book illustrate how the only effective fighting I can accomplish in the spirit realm is through the spoken Word of God.
I believe my pastor when he says that when the Lord gives him a message to share, it is the inspired spoken Word of God. The book 21 Seconds to Change Your World was written by one of my pastors and a great Biblical theologian, so I trust that when God gives one of his servants a Word, it is the inspired spoken Word, rooted in His written Word. If you have not read the book, I would highly recommend it. It is the book that sparked my daily prayer time with my wife. We made a commitment to pray the Lord’s prayer out loud every single day. Soon after, we responded to a challenge from the Lord by dedicating a full year to reading the entire Bible, which we completed together. Over time, we added new prayers and confessions to our daily devotions, which include putting on the full Armor of God, loosing the Fruits of the Spirit, reciting Psalm 23, the prayer of Jabez, and pleading the blood of Jesus over lives. Then, we pray for others. This is only part of our daily devotional, which all started with Dr. Mark’s book. The confirmation was about spiritual warfare and not growing weary of doing good (Galatians 6:9).
While reading the book, I kept hearing the Lord say, “If you want Me to do something I have never done before, you must be willing to ask for something you have never asked for before.” When His voice became the loudest thing I could hear, I knew I had to tell my wife, so I knelt beside her and shared what I was experiencing.
Neither one of us understood what God was telling us, so we prayed about it together and then I asked the Lord out loud “Lord, what should I ask for?” Immediately, I heard the word “Fearlessness.”
My heart sank into my stomach, and I felt sick because I knew what that meant. I have learned in life that when I ask God for more patience, He does not snap his fingers so that I arrive at patience, as if it is a destination. Rather, He orchestrates my time and circumstances to provide opportunities for me to practice patience. He fills me with the Fruit of the Spirit, knowing that my development will require persistence and pruning, but will, in season, mature and reap a greater harvest.
In this case, I knew that if I were to ask for fearlessness, I would be required to face my greatest fears. I knew better than to forfeit the blessing by overthinking the command from the Lord, so I mustered all the courage I could afford and prayed out loud, “Jesus, I ask you to make me fearless.” I felt a sense of completeness and peace in my spirit as I returned to my daily work routine.
A few moments later, the entire house began to shake violently, and it felt like we were experiencing an earthquake. Deafeningly loud percussions echoed all around us and fixtures started falling from the walls. We both stood there, staring at each other in silence until the tremors eventually subsided.
As Georgia residents, we were left in shock and awe as we had never experienced anything like that before. Cautiously, we ventured outside, expecting to see some kind of aftermath. Everything appeared normal. I turned on the local news and there were no reports of what happened. I called my family, neighbors, and friends, but could not get in touch with a single person.
We were left with many questions and no answers. None of our neighbors were home at the time of the event, so no one knew what we were talking about. It wasn’t until days later that I noticed a 60-foot pine tree leaning precariously in our backyard, so I called an arborist. Upon examination, he said that he had never seen a phenomenon like this before. He said that the massive roots of the tree had snapped and exploded deep underground, which is what caused the tremors.
His explanation was a confirmation of a new dream and a new direction that God was inspiring us to discover. My wife and I prayed that God would make a miracle out of the situation and a testimony that would never end. As excited as we were, we had no idea of the intensity of what we were about to experience.
Chapter Four: Kerith Ravine's Steakhouse: A Fine Dining Experience Featuring the Ravens, Steak Sandwiches, and Sparkling Brook Water
The Bible is full of amazing stories and extraordinary adventures. Not only is it the greatest selling book of all time, but it is the only book that is “living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12). I like to approach the Bible as if it is a treasure to explore. Pastor James once taught me, “If you are doing Christianity the right way, every day will be the greatest adventure.”
When I think about great adventures, the first thing I try to identify is the source of the conflict, which is the driving force behind every storyline. Without conflict, there is no story. This reminds me that I have been called to “Chase the Roar.”
While in college, I took a course in technical writing. The first day, my instructor politely warned the class, “In technical writing, no one wants to read what you write.” Audiences only read or watch content created from technical writing because it contains instructions for how to solve a problem. Good technical writing will provide clear and concise answers in as few words as possible. Examples of technical writing are found in manuals, procedures, and disclaimers. No one reads or watches content from technical writing for pleasure because there is no conflict.
Furthermore, it remains to be said that the absence of conflict does not automatically make content technical. Without conflict, a series of events or steps simply follow or precede one another.
However, I do enjoy exceptions, and ironically, one of my favorite movies has been described as an exception to this rule. Napoleon Dynamite has long been debated over whether it contains any real conflict, and as successful as the film has been, it begs the question how a series of mostly unrelated events continues to captivate audiences. I theorize that the unconventional process of unique character development is sometimes sufficient for engaging viewers. There is also the argument that any measurable development in a character requires some internal conflict. However, this film does not clearly define any external or internal conflict, resulting in more questions than answers and leaving the audience to interpret the purpose of the film. The movie is what you or I make of it, which is why I find it so comical and thought provoking.
Perhaps that is what life is all about – what we make of it, by experiencing an ongoing series of events and choosing if and how we engage with the inevitability of conflict, both internally and externally. The Bible, like life, is full of exciting conflict, all of which forces the character to choose how to answer the most important question of all: Who is the person of Jesus to me?
Growth only comes through conflict. Change only occurs through resistance. Revival only takes place through (the self-sacrifice of) reformation.
Through my experience, I am convinced that if I belong to God, I get to experience my own versions of Bible story adventures, whether I am aware of it or not. The key to successfully navigating each season is found in partnership with the Holy Spirit, by asking Him to help me identify which Bible character or storyline is relevant to the present season and how I can participate in the narrative. The only way I can effectively participate in these adventures is through knowing His Word.
As I recount this season in my storyline, I am able to identify the conflict as being similar to the internal and external conflict Elisha may have faced in the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan, where the Lord instructed him to hide from the wicked king Ahab and his wife Jezebel. There, the Lord directed ravens to deliver bread and meat to Elisha both morning and evening and he drank from a nearby brook (1 Kings 17:2-16). God was protecting Elisha from harm, while strengthening his faith by supernaturally supplying his every need.
Similarly, and like many times before and since, God was strengthening my faith by calling me to “Burn the Bridges to My Past” and “Break the Old Plow” (Watch segment 15:26 – 17:17). These bridges and plows represent people, places, and things in my life in which I found security, and the Lord wanted to remind and embolden me in the truth that He is my source and strength.
So, right when I started getting comfortable, the Lord intervened and gave me “The Blessing of the Busted Nest.” He instructed me to sell my house and move closer to Free Chapel. I avoided telling my wife for weeks out of fear of conflict. After my Fruit of Peace started drying up, I knew I had to say something. Finally, I found a quiet moment to sit with her as I shared, “I have something important that I need to tell you.” Before, I could finish, she interjected and said, “I have something important that I need to tell you, too, but you go first.” I carefully explained how I felt like the Lord had instructed me to sell the house and move closer to Free Chapel. When I finally looked up at her face, I was pleasantly surprised to see her smiling. Then, she said, “That is exactly what I have been hearing from the Lord as well, but I didn’t want to tell you because I know how much you love this house.” A sigh of relief came over both of us as faith arose in our hearts. We decided that the obedient thing to do was to call our real estate agent and start preparing the house for sale.
A few days later, we received a regularly scheduled shipment of supplies for our business from FedEx. I knew all my local delivery drivers by name, but I had never met this person before. After introducing myself and getting to know him while we unloaded the back of his truck, he shared with me that he was a full-time pastor and a part-time delivery driver. Throughout our conversation, he kept shifting the focus back to Jesus and I kept getting waves of goosebumps as he quoted scripture. Before he left, he said, “If you’re willing to hear it, I believe I have a word from the Lord for you and your wife.” This what he said:
- If you stay “grounded” and remain faithful, the Lord will “catapult” you to the next level.
- You will have the opportunity to give your house to a family member or loved one for free.
- Your wife will groom a daughter in the Lord.
- You will be able to afford employees to run the day-to-day activities of your business, so that you can participate in full-time ministry.
- Where the Lord is sending you will make this place seem like a “shoebox.”
- The Lord will supply you with a new car and a work vehicle.
Then, he said, “This place represents a cave. Do not be discouraged. David wrote most of the Psalms in a cave. It is a place of preparation and consecration. However, you cannot stay in the cave forever. You must be willing to follow the Lord wherever He leads.”
My wife and I prayed and asked the Lord to give us a theme to know what to look for in a new home. I clearly heard Him say, “a lighthouse.”
We were so fired up that we decided to put our house on the market. I listed it well above my purchase price and it sold in less than five days. Interestingly, I received the offer through text while my wife and I were in the movie theater watching “Hillsong: Let Hope Rise.” The buyer was so eager to move in that he requested we vacate within thirty days of closing. We found a beautiful home located in the same neighborhood as my wife’s parents, who have been members of Free Chapel since 2001. Everything was going smoothly until a few days before we closed on the new home. The owner expressed his deepest remorse but was unwilling to release the house due to the severe emotional trauma he recently experienced within. Although he and his family were not religious, his wife decided to go on a mission’s trip to a third world country, where she was exposed to a flesh-eating parasite, which quickly disabled her. She ended up having all four of her limbs amputated and then died of complications.
By this time, our home had sold, and we had less than two weeks to vacate. Essentially, we were homeless. The temptation to give into fear was intense, but we knew that the Lord would provide. We had no other option than to completely rely on Jesus as our source and strength. I felt like Elisha, watching and waiting as the sun rose and set, praying to catch a glimpse of Noah’s first flight responders over the horizon.
Part Two: The Ship
Chapter Five: Anchored in the Storm
In his powerful sermon entitled “I Know,” Pastor Ben Prescott reminds us that God will anchor us in the storm until we learn to trust Him. That may sound cruel, but it is a life-saving measure that is best understood experientially.
Years ago, I traveled by ship to a remote location hundreds of miles off the coast of Florida. While on the journey, we encountered a massive storm. Without warning, the sky turned black all around us. Sheets of torrential rainfall pummeled the deck, while the swelling ocean waves engulphed the hull. Lightning bolts relentlessly struck the ship, accompanied by the thunderous roar of explosions in the sky. Then, the power went out. I stood there in pitch black darkness, no longer able to hear or feel the reverberating sounds of the ship’s engine. As the mighty vessel began to tilt, I could hear the screams of hysteria among the passengers. Even the ship’s crew, who frequented these waters, appeared terrified. When all hope seemed lost, I heard what sounded like a massive chain slowly unrolling. The captain was dropping anchor. Still without power, we held our breath as the giant anchor plummeted towards the ocean floor. We waited for what seemed like an eternity, as each passing moment made us more acutely aware of the immense depths that lie beneath us. Then, with a quick jerk, the floating city leveled upright and the ship itself seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. We waited for hours for the storm to subside and the ship to regain its power. As I lay silently in the dark with my Bible on my chest, I felt thankful to be alive another day but more importantly, I felt like praising God because He had given me peace in the midst of a storm and proved that by His Spirit, I need not fear death. Though I felt encouraged by this experience, I also felt a heavy burden for all the souls on board who had never known this kind of peace. For the rest of the trip, I made a point to focus on others more than myself, and everywhere I went I was given opportunities to acknowledge Jesus.
This story reminds me of the season I was in after leaving the safety of the Cave. True to form, God made me wait until the eleventh hour before revealing His next step for my path. Unbeknownst to me, my parents in law owned a property in Braselton which had been occupied for seven years. The tenants decided to move out three days before we were required to vacate our sold home. We now had a place to live and work, and for practically free.
We moved in, sight unseen, thankful for the manna from heaven. We were thankful, that is, until we woke up the next day to discover how dark the house appeared inside. The few windows were positioned away from direct sunlight, and we were so close to our neighbors that we could see what they were making for breakfast. Like the Israelites in the wilderness, I began to lament for Egypt. God had given us a vision for the promised land, but this was not it. Instead, it felt like we were being given daily rations of frosted flakes but without the comfort of milk and honey.
A few days into our new way of living, tragedy struck, and we lost a crewmember. “Precious,” our adopted Pomchi, had been part of my wife’s family for twelve years. She wore little sweaters and slept in our bed. She ate meals with us, and we loved her like a family member. Within the first week, while going for a walk outside, one of our neighbors let their Pitbull run outside without a leash. From inside, I heard my wife screaming, “Help!” I ran as fast as I could to discover her face to face with a monstrous creature. I immediately stood between my wife and the Pitbull and commanded the dog to sit in my loudest voice. To my amazement, the dog obeyed me, but the damage was done. Precious was laying on the ground bleeding and barely able to breathe. My wife, uninjured, drove to the nearest animal hospital as I held Precious in my arms. We locked eyes as she gasped for shallow breaths. The doctor informed us that no amount of money would save her. She would have to be euthanized to end her suffering.
Being stranded at sea is a lot like being lost in the wilderness. There is no easy way out and the water is too bitter to drink. But, like Pastor Franklin teaches through “The Healing Tree,” God already made provisions long before we arrived. When my circumstances appear to be getting worse, I have a choice: Will I grow bitter, or will I grow better? So, instead of wallowing in my misery, I decided to press into the Lord and ask Him to show me His perspective. I felt like if I understood the “why,” it would help me see the testimony in the trial, the purpose in the pain. So, I asked, and He answered. That night, I had a dream that Precious never encountered the Pitbull. However, she had a collapsed trachea, and her quality of life was diminishing. In my dream, we spent thousands of dollars to keep her alive while she suffered and died slowly in agonizing pain. The next day, I told my wife about the dream. She asked her parents as well as the family veterinarian, all of whom confirmed that they knew about the pre-existing condition of her trachea. They had withheld this information from us to prevent us from worrying.
I felt my faith rise up, as once again, God proved that He is always good. Through divine intervention, the bitter water became sweet as I was given a taste of heaven’s perspective. Now, I consider Precious a victor rather than a victim as her fire went out in a blaze of glory, facing impossible odds, and without fear of the future.
As much as I wanted to move directly from the Cave to the Lighthouse, God was showing me in this season that there was an ocean between the two that I must cross, and that the journey is always for His glory and my benefit. He was teaching me to trust Him in every storm by holding fast to my faith and being prepared to drop anchor.
Chapter Six: Good, Better and Best
In the words of John Hagee, “God gives in three categories: good, better and best.” That sounds great until He takes something good away from me. My undisciplined, carnal tendency is to clutch onto the good thing that God gave me, not recognizing that He wants me to make room for something better, and that, in turn, is to prepare me for His best.
My wife had a hard time dealing with the death of our dog, which she considered murder. I, too, had a hard time forgiving the owner for being so negligent. As a man, I like to fix things, but it is impossible to fix a broken heart. Only Jesus can do that. For the first time in our marriage, we began to argue. We had weathered many storms together, but always on the same team. I thought she was being overdramatic. She thought I was being insensitive. We were both right, but we were both wrong for not pursuing peace.
I am so thankful that we each have Godly parents. My in-laws have devoted themselves to full-time mission’s work, traveling the country and infiltrating valleys of dry bones with the life-giving Word of God. People can see them coming from a mile away, and they are either loved or hated because all they talk about is Jesus. They were instrumental in coaching us through a difficult season, teaching us from their own successes and failures and encouraging us to focus on Jesus rather than ourselves. My mother-in-law will forever be part of my testimony because of her consistent encouragement to live my faith out loud.
Philippians 3:13-14 says, “I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back” (The Message Bible).
I love how the Bible refers to our journey through life as a game. The best way to win at any game is to understand the rules and to have a strategy. Did you know that gamification is often the most effective way to teach a concept? Studies have shown that gamifying a lesson can transcend all learning styles.
So, here is what I have learned about how to win at the game of life. Life is a journey. Heaven is my destination. Jesus is my reward. Therefore, I will never truly “arrive” at anything until I am united with my Heavenly Father in glory. Here on earth, if I become fixated on my past or current circumstances, I disqualify myself from moving forward into the future God has for me. Life in Christ is a race, but not one that I must strive to win. In fact, I have already won because of Christ (John 16:33). My job is to do justly, to love mercy, and to be humble before the Lord (Micah 6:8). I do this by being prepared in season and out of season to exhort myself and others in the Word, with great patience and careful instruction (2 Timothy 4:2).
Unlike earthly races, which are won or lost through our competitive, selfish nature, our heavenly race has a different set of rules and strategies. We go into training, not to win trophies, but to win souls (1 Corinthians 9:22-27). The goal is to bring as many other people over the finish line with me as have been called (John 6:44; Romans 8:14).
Some people call Free Chapel a mega church. I call it home. The difference between a church feeling “too big” and “just like home” is my level of involvement. One of the best ways to engage with a new church, or a new church member, is like the relationship between Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Goldilocks was not shy about getting involved and trying new things. Not everything she tried was a good fit, but she did not quit. Although this trial-and-error period was inconvenient, and perhaps even annoying at times to the resident bears, they were uncommonly kind and compassionate with her, allowing her time to identify, develop, and operate in her gifts. In my imagination, I like to think of Goldilocks learning how to make the beds and prepare the porridge, just the way the bears liked it. In so doing, ‘her gift made room for her’ (Franklin).
This kind of discipleship is one of the many ways that Free Chapel excels in exemplifying the church Jesus intended when He said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35).
If you are looking for a way to get more involved at Free Chapel, check out their life-changing programs such as Next Steps, School of Discipleship, and Find Your Fit.
Chapter Seven: Port of Entry
Although tumultuous at times, our voyage on The Ship allowed us to experience many purposeful excursions along the way. Perhaps the most profound of these berthing stations took place at the Buford campus. While Free Chapel is one church with many campuses, each campus has its own unique culture. This dynamic provides Freechapelians the opportunity to find their fit among a variety of diverse family-friendly locations.
While writing this chapter, I am reminded of another great sermon entitled, “Living in the Favor of God” by Dr. Mike Evans. In it, Dr. Evans explains that as we surrender and seek to please the Lord, He will turn our pain into power, purpose and passion by activating His promises in our lives. However, each promise comes with a special assignment. These assignments often include one or more of the four radical steps exemplified by Jesus as He “increased in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:52). Here are the four steps Dr. Evans shared:
- Radical Obedience
- Radical Humility
- Radical Forgiveness, and
- Radical Generosity
As I became more involved at Free Chapel, I felt a stirring in my spirit that I must commit myself to these areas if I want to pass the next divine assignment and experience God’s best. “The doors to the greatest blessings in life swing on tiny hinges called obedience” (Jentezen Franklin).
In obedience, I asked the Lord for direction. In response, He said, “Take care of the home you have been given as if it were your own.” I have learned that I can question God’s methods without questioning His motives. However, rarely does he explain his methods before I respond in faith by beginning and/or finishing the assignment that He gave me. If I am sincere in asking God to orchestrate my time and circumstances for His glory and my benefit, I must recognize that His ways and thoughts are higher than mine (Isaiah 55:9).
So, I made a commitment to the Lord to take care of the Ship as if it belonged to me, even though I did not want it. Over the next few months, I spent every weekend beautifying the property to my heart’s content. First, I unpacked the house, decorated and fixed everything that I could. Then, I pressure washed and painted outside. I planted new grass along with a cornucopia of colorful horticulture. In the backyard, I built fences and stairs and installed the same kind of lights suspended over the outdoor amphitheater of the Gainesville campus.
I invested in the Ship, even though I knew it would not benefit me financially. However, as soon as I began to obey, I received the “peace that surpasses all understanding, which guards my heart and mind in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7). Instead of feeling exhausted from the work, I was filled with worship until the two became synonymous. It became a labor of love. Only after I stopped questioning the “why” of that assignment did God gave me greater insight into the method of His motives.
One hot summer afternoon, while dragging thorny brush piles to the top of a steep hill, I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me. He said, “With the same level of diligence that you care for this home, I have someone else taking care of your home.” Finally, the sacrifice made sense, but my need to “know” no longer mattered because I had experienced a new level of intimacy with my Heavenly Father. Once my attitude changed, my circumstances followed, and the floodgates of heaven began to open.
The next Sunday, Pastor Ben Prescott prophesied over the church that something great would happen in the next seven days. Within seven minutes after church service, Pastor Shane offered me a joint position leading the youth group at the Buford campus. After prayerful consideration, I decided to first speak to the youth about the daily discipline of putting on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18), the importance of forgiveness, and praying for your enemies (Proverbs 25:21-22, Matthew 5:44, 6:14-15).
After the service, four young men, who were visiting for the first time approached me. Three of them said they were ready to ask Jesus into their hearts. I took a few moments to get to know them before praying. Led by the Holy Spirit, I prayed a prayer of salvation and the three young men repeated it after me. Afterwards, I saw what looked like darkness fall off of them, and their countenances visibly changed. The fourth young man, who was there to observe, appeared confused and sad. The other three told me that he was brought up in a different religion, so I encouraged him by saying, “Truth, by definition, is exclusive. This means that something cannot be true and not true at the same time. Jesus said He is the Way, the Truth and the Life and no one comes to the Father except through Him. If you are determined to discover the Truth, you will find Him. If you are still confused, I will give you a hint. You already discovered the Truth, and He is here.”
Weeks later, the mother of one of those young men, who did not attend Free Chapel, came to the Buford campus just to find me. She said, “I just wanted to say thank you for whatever you said to my son. He is a completely different person now. He used to get into a lot of trouble, but now he is one of the most respectful people I know. I asked him what happened, and he said it was the impression you made on him.” We celebrated for a few minutes and then I quietly slipped away to find a place where I could be alone with God. I got on my knees and began to thank Him. In that still, small voice, I heard him say “I’m proud of you, son.”
That same week, while I was in the middle of my daily devotional, the doorbell rang. A young man named Luke was delivering some shipping supplies. While helping him unload, I clearly heard the Lord tell me to ask Luke about his day. After I asked, he stared at me in the eyes to see if I really cared. Then, it was as if everything around us disappeared and the Lord surrounded us with a bubble so that we could speak without any distractions. With a heavy heart, he explained that he was going through a divorce. He said that his wife had contracted HIV but he did not have the virus. He lived in constant anxiety, even though he was taking preventative medication. He said that he felt like he was going crazy. I told him that he came to the right place. I encouraged him in the Lord and prayed for him. In my mind, I kept seeing a picture of the book “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers. I told him that I would like to give him my own personal copy if he promised to read it. He agreed. I went inside, found the book, and began to flip through the dog eared, marked up pages of what was one of my favorite books, which I had read at least three times. Just as I began to question my decision about relinquishing this pearl, the Lord led me to the first page, which was inscribed to me by an old Sunday school teacher, who found great comfort and direction in the book after his wife had an affair and left him. I had forgotten where I had received the book until that moment, and then understood that this gift was part of a divine assignment. I wrote my name and phone number in the book and told him to keep in touch. As we parted ways, I felt an intense sense of urgency from the Holy Spirit, as if the mission was incomplete. Immediately, I ran back outside. He was already in drive. I found myself running beside his truck while knocking on the window. He looked at me like I was crazy, and for good reason. After I caught my breath, I explained that the Lord inspired me to ask him if he was saved. He simply answered, “no,” to which I replied, “would you like to?” Tears began swelling in his eyes and we prayed a prayer of salvation together, right there in the middle of the road. My heart broke when he said that no one had ever cared about him this much before, not even his own family. Before he drove away, I told him that Jesus loves him and that we were going to be friends for eternity.
I walked back home, overflowing with thanksgiving and praise, as I considered how my attitude about the Ship had truly changed. I realized that even if God had called me here for this one encounter, it would all be worth it.
But then, just when I thought I had reached the precipice of a new mountaintop, Jesus lovingly pushed me off the edge, face first down the next water slide into a valley that, until that very moment, I was unwilling to traverse. He said, “Now, I want you to write a letter of forgiveness to your neighbor.”
Chapter Eight: The Breakthrough of Brokenness
The legitimacy of a prophetic word is not defined by its accuracy. People make accurate predictions all the time. The hallmark of true prophecy is that it always leads to the heart of God. Through all these signs and wonders, I knew that the Holy Spirit was calling me closer and increasing my faith to prepare me to be broken bread and poured out wine for others. (2 Peter 1:20-21, The Commission of the Call)
Christianity 101 is about obedience. Christianity 102 is about my attitude in that obedience. I have learned that without the right attitude, it is impossible to forgive myself or others. So, I prayed and asked the Lord to help me to have the right attitude about forgiving my neighbor, not only in thought, but in deed. To my amazement, the Lord gave me a vision. I saw a child being attacked and disfigured by my neighbor’s Pitbull. Immediately, I understood that the sacrifice of my dog saved the life of a precious child. In that moment, I imagined a tiny sliver of the grief that must have been experienced by my Heavenly Father as His one and only Son was mauled and killed by animals.
I had no more excuses, so I took out a piece of paper and began to write a sincere letter of forgiveness to my neighbor. Soon after hand-delivering it, I receive one in return. My neighbor wrote that he and his wife had thought about the tragic incident every day and offered to pay for the veterinary bills, which I politely declined. He promised that he would never allow his dog to roam free again.
The next day, I woke up to the highest grossing sales in the history of my company. The blessings just kept pouring in and I felt like I was living under an open heaven. As a crescendo of this mountaintop experience, I received an exclusive invitation to sell on Walmart. I remember driving home after a Free Chapel service that Sunday and hearing the Lord speak to me, “Memorialize this season.” The first thing I though about was stacking stones like the Israelites, but the Lord kept showing me a necklace, a bracelet and a ring. I do not like wearing jewelry, but I felt like He wanted me to decide between those three options. So, I chose the bracelet. I asked the Lord if I should seek one out, and I felt an overwhelming assurance that He would take care of the rest. This conversation with the Holy Spirit seemed strange to me at the time, but I wanted to be obedient, so I stored up these things in my heart and waited on the Lord.
That week, I decided to purchase my first new lawnmower. Every other mower I had owned was either a gift or secondhand. I decided to go with a cordless battery operated model. I was so excited, and I felt like I had somehow reached a new level of manhood. It turned on with the push of a button and quietly whispered at full power. I carefully mowed the lawn, trying to keep my shiny new toy as clean as possible. As I rounded the last turn, I heard the Holy Spirit say, “Now, I want you to mow your neighbor’s lawn.” I thought to myself, “No way! He has rocks and dog poop in his yard and if I cut his grass, my new mower will get dirty.” I stood there for a moment, like a child pretending not to hear his parent calling. Then, in obedience, but with a poor attitude, I crossed over into my neighbor’s yard. I was hoping and praying that he would not come home before I finished. By the time I reached the backyard, my new mower was covered in dirt, and I began to laugh about the joy-filled absurdity of this radical new level of obedience, humility, forgiveness and generosity growing inside of me. As I finished mowing his lawn, I heard the Holy Spirit say, “Don’t stop now,” so I mowed the next neighbor’s lawn. I was about to head back home when I heard His voice again say, “I will tell you when to stop.” So, I just kept mowing. By this time, it was getting late, and the sun was beginning to set. My neighbors started coming home and staring at me from their driveways. I tried to keep my head down and focus on the assignment. I kept mowing into the night. Barely able to see in the dark, I heard the Lord speak to me again. This is what I heard Him say, paraphrased: “Now, I want to teach you an important lesson. Look carefully for the line in the grass. So long as you keep your eyes on the straight and narrow path created by your last pass, you will finish the task, so stay focused. If you lose focus, deviating to the right or to the left, you will have to circle back around to try again, which will take longer and create unnecessary problems.”
Drenched in sweat, I kept my eyes fixes on the faint line ahead of me and pressed on. Then, out of nowhere, a man appeared on the sidewalk next to me. He was a very tall black man dressed in a fine suit. I paused for a moment to observe him. It seemed very unusual for a man to be walking down the street in the middle of the night wearing a tailored suit. He looked up and down the block, examining the work I had done and then looked at me, nodded his head in approval and then smiled. As he passed, I smelled what seemed to be the sweetest fragrance I have ever encountered. He continued walking down the street until he stopped in front of my house. He leaned down, touched the ground, and then continued walking. I never saw him again.
I had just finished mowing the final house on my street when the battery died. I felt amazed at God’s perfect timing. Walking the mower back to my house, I kept looking for the place the man had stopped. As I got closer, I saw something laying there, so I leaned down and picked it up. It was a beautiful handmade bracelet. It was a perfect fit and it smelled like heaven. I lifted it up to the Lord in thanksgiving and then heard Him say, “Now, go find your new home.”
I ran inside to check my email. To date, I had browsed hundreds of properties and visited dozens, each ending in a closed door. This time, there was only one new message. I opened it and gasped. It was the home of my dreams and located less than 2 miles from the Free Chapel Gainesville campus. I visited the property with my real estate agent the next day and put an offer on the home before ever stepping foot inside. During the previous year, the owner kept renovating the house, thinking that it would eventually solve his sleep apnea. He slept with a CPAP machine because he could not breath at night. He kept renovating, looking for mold and other air contaminants that might have been exacerbating his health condition. Eventually, he gave up, considering the house condemnable, and listed the home nearly one hundred thousand dollars below market value. If the home had been listed at full market value, I would never have seen it because it would have been much higher than my preapproved loan. Instead, I was the first to see it. During my due diligence period, I had the home inspected, only to discover that the air ducts had never been cleaned, ever. I called some professionals and within a few hours, the air quality was perfect. I felt so thankful that God made me wait for His perfect timing so that He could further develop me and prepare the place where He was sending me. The drive to church that Sunday morning took all of 100 seconds. All glory, honor and praise belong to Jesus! Great things He has done!
Part Three: The Lighthouse
Chapter Nine: This Little Light of Mine
When the Lord gave me a vision for a lighthouse, the first thing I thought was, “That sounds like a nice vacation.” I remembered the beautiful calendar pictures of lighthouses across America showcased at my dentist’s office and reminisced over the emotions those images were intended to evoke. I pictured myself lighting a wick atop a fortress of protection as the sun gently set behind luxurious sailing ships cradled by still waters. Carried away by this fantasy, I was not prepared to identify with the true purpose of the lighthouse, which is one of the reasons why God anchored me in the storm for so long.
A lighthouse exists to send out a beacon of light to warn and to guide, while enduring a never-ending onslaught of violent and opposing forces. Interestingly, no two lighthouses are the same. This is by design so that mariners can distinguish between them during the daytime. These differences are evident among lighthouses through a variety of unique physical bodies and types of crowns which they adorn. Importantly, lighthouses are strategically placed in some of the most dangerous places on earth.
In the Old Testament, God instructed Moses to build a tabernacle as His dwelling place among the Israelites as they traveled. The interior was divided into two rooms: “the holy place” and “the most holy place.” Inevitably, it would have been very dark inside the tabernacle without candles. God’s instructions to Moses included a lampstand in the outer room but no such light source in the inner room. This is because God Himself was and is the source of light. In the New Testament, God sent Jesus to deliver us from the power and authority of darkness through His death, burial, and resurrection that we might receive the gift of His Holy Spirit living within us. This why the Bible says, “Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you” and “You are not your own; You were bought at a price” (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). God is the source. I am only a resource.
In Matthew 5:14-16, Jesus commands every believer to shine like a lighthouse when he says, “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”
Since I have been saved by grace through faith, and not by works alone, how can I let my light shine the way God intended? (Ephesians 2:8-10). I found the answer while studying the physics of Fresnel lenses, which are installed in every lighthouse. According to the Ponce de Leon Lighthouse & Museum, A Fresnel lens creates a focused beam of light using glass prisms set in a frame. These prisms change the direction that the light travels so all the beams exit the lens in same direction. The prisms do this by refracting and reflecting the light, creating a magnification of the beam. The spiritual lesson we can learn from this model is profound. When my lens (or world view) is aligned with the light (or understanding of God’s Word), I become a reflection of His light, magnifying Him as the source within me.
I have never asked for the spotlight. Throughout my life, it has been thrust upon me, or I unto it. My parents named me Brandon Ian, which means “a beacon of light” “to be set upon a hill.” From childhood, I was constantly being pushed to perform. As encouraging as praise can be, fame and fortune have never been motivating factors for me. In fact, one of my favorite pastimes is spent alone on an empty stage in a vacant theater. I get goosebumps just thinking about how fulfilling it is for me to spend quality time with God in those wide-open spaces. Perhaps that feeling is a confirmation of a recurring prophecy over my life, which is, “I will be famous, but no one will know who I am.” I think that is the best kind of fame – a life so hidden in Christ that I become invisible.
The United States has more lighthouses than any other place in the world. By the same spiritual comparison, the US has a greater measure of influence in the world than any other nation. People are attracted to light and the world needs examples on which to focus. Like a lighthouse, focus creates intensity and power. However not all light comes from the source of light. “Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14). Jesus warned his disciples that light, which represents knowledge and influence, can be rooted in darkness when he said, “If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness” (Matthew 6:23)! Therefore, it is important to read the Bible, and in partnership with the Holy Spirit, in order that we should “rightly divide the Word of Truth” (2 Timothy 2:15). To be an effective reflection of Christ, “Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore, get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding” (Proverbs 4:7).
While on their missionary journey, Paul and Barnabas shifted their attention from the Jews to the Gentiles when they referenced Isaiah 49:6 in order to explain an Old Testament commandment as a new covenant promise. Filled with boldness, they said, “For so the Lord has commanded us: ‘I have set you as a light to the Gentiles, that you should be for salvation to the ends of the earth’” (Acts 13:46-47). The boldness of their faith along with the knowledge of God’s Word, and in partnership with His Spirit, equipped the apostles to reveal the truth in love and compassion, rather than in judgement and condemnation.
Throughout scripture, we can identify a recurring principle that if God reveals something that is broken, He intends to heal it. He sends His light to reveal what needs to be changed. This is because light precedes transformation, which signifies wisdom and understanding.
Consider the parable of the lost coin, when Jesus said, “Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it? And when she has found it, she calls her friends and neighbors together, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the piece which I lost!’ Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents” (Luke 15:8-10). In this parable, restoration only came to the woman when she combined a light source with a broom. Light exposed the darkness, but the broom cleansed her home in order that she could see the truth. The light, which reveals, represents Jesus. The broom, which cleanses, represents His blood. The light answers the why. The broom answers the how.
“Arise, shine;
For your light has come!
And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you.
For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth,
And deep darkness the people;
But the Lord will arise over you,
And His glory will be seen upon you.
The Gentiles shall come to your light,
And kings to the brightness of your rising.
“Lift up your eyes all around, and see:
They all gather together, they come to you;
Your sons shall come from afar,
And your daughters shall be nursed at your side” (Isaiah 60:1-4).
Chapter Ten: Dying Is Only Hard the First Time
“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever” (1 John 2:15-17).
Pride was the original sin. The lusts of the eyes and flesh were outward expressions of disobedience through Adam and Eve (Genesis 3:6). Satan, a former angel, was so consumed with pride after God created the world that he persuaded one third of heaven’s angels to follow him into rebellion and darkness (Ezekiel 28:13-15). In the same way, Satan persuaded Eve that she could be like God rather than obey Him. Pride murdered Abel, fueled the Tower of Babel, and moved the Hand of God to flood the whole earth, all within the first 7 chapters of Genesis. “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” is explicitly reiterated 7 times throughout scripture (1). God designed us with the ability to learn through repetition. So, when God repeats Himself, He is teaching us a very important lesson.
Sin is anything that separates. For example, I sin against my brother or sister if I say or do something that creates a wedge between us. In turn, I am still guilty if I withhold forgiveness for being offended. However, when I sin against my brother or sister, I also sin against God, because we are all made in the image of God (Genesis 9:6). So, if I withhold love and forgiveness, I punish myself instead of the one who hurt me. I like how Pastor Franklin describes unforgiveness. He says, “It is like drinking poison and hoping that the other person gets sick.”
I used to worry all the time if I was sinning. I laugh at the irony of that now. Sin is not complicated. In fact, scripture tells us that all sin falls into one of three categories: The lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. I now measure every thought and action against this standard. I no longer live in fear because I surrender each of these temptations daily, understanding that pride is a heart condition whereas the lust of the eyes and flesh are outward expressions of disobedience. It is possible to surrender the eyes and flesh without surrendering pride, but not vice versa, because pride is the root.
The good news is that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Isaiah 53:5 tells us that “He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.” Simplified, transgressions are sins we commit outwardly, and iniquities are sins we commit in our hearts, on the inside. For this reason, Jesus endured wounds on the outside of his body and bruises within. Praise Jesus for His willingness to suffer and die so that we can have eternal life. The gift of eternal life is free, but we must choose if we will accept it. Jesus said “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).
One day, we will all give an account for way we spent this gift of life on earth. If we face God on our own, we fall short of His glory, regardless of how good we think we are. Jesus died in order to represent us on the day of judgement (Matthew 10:32). Through His death, burial, and resurrection, He paid the ultimate price for every sin ever committed, making a way for us to be forgiven for separating ourselves from God and protecting us from an eternity of separation from His presence and perfect love. God created us in His image to desire intimacy in relationships because He desires intimacy in relationship with us. It is impossible to experience the fullness of love and intimacy without God because God is love (1 John 4:7-21). He desires our time and attention and wants us to have confidence in knowing Him personally. This invitation to know Him and be known is available to anyone who confesses that Jesus is Lord and believes that God raised Him from the dead (Romans 10:9-10). By inviting His Holy Spirit to fill us, we become adopted as His sons and daughters as well as heirs to His Kingdom where we will rule and reign with Him. God is so generous that He wants to share His authority with us, here and in heaven. Let Jesus take His rightful throne as the King of your heart. It feels good to be a child of the King. But remember, He is holy, so honor Him and acknowledge Him in all you do, and He will reward you in this life and the next.
The bad news is that Whack-a-Mole is rigged. As a child, I grew up near a Showbiz Pizza Place, before it was called Chuck E. Cheese. I used to love whacking those pesky moles with the hammer as quickly as they would shoot up. The funny thing about that game is that it does not offer tickets as a reward because you cannot win. The only reward is the pride of temporarily disabling the never-ending onslaught of opposition. Similarly, and as Christians, we sometimes play this game with sin, thinking that we can temporarily disable certain outward expressions of our sinful nature without destroying the root. This results in a never-ending battle of will-power wherein the only reward is in the appearance of holiness. It’s like a snake shedding its skin, pretending to be renewed, all the while growing more monstrous as it discards old pride for new.
Cutting down trees is easy. Cleaning up is the hard part. I remember hiring some arborists to cut down several trees that were growing dangerously close to the Lighthouse. It was a lot of fun shouting “timber!” as the giants came crashing down. However, it created a huge mess that took a long time to clear away. I discovered that renting a skid steer would be less expensive and a lot more fun than hiring someone else to grind the stumps. I was amazed to see how deep and wide the roots grow to support the trees. One of the stumps had roots so deep that I would not budge, no matter how much digging, pulling, and pushing I did. To this day, it remains in my yard as a memorial.
Allowing a tree to grow in a dangerous place can create costly consequences and a big mess to clean up. Likewise, our undisciplined eyes and flesh can get us into a lot of trouble and create unnecessary burdens for ourselves and others.
We are all born innocent but into a sinful world. As children, when we know right from wrong and choose wrong, we eat our first seed of pride. Once that seed is allowed to germinate within our spirit, it begins to solidify through a network of iniquitous roots like unforgiveness, bitterness, fear, anger, and offenses of every kind. Most of us are unaware of this cancerous phenomenon because it’s easier to blame others for the way we feel inside. Over a lifetime, this root system often grows very deep. That is why letting go of pride is so hard – because it requires us to die to everything that makes us feel secure.
Just let go. Growing up in a Spirit-filled home and church, I grew to love the Lord at a very early age. Many of you reading this may be the same. We know the Lord’s voice and identify with humility. However, in my pride, I carried a backpack full of bricks that represented the things about which I worried. Sadly, I was blind to the unnecessary burden I carried until the Lord revealed the answer to my freedom through a sermon by Jentezen Franklin entitled “Finding Freedom.” Here is an excerpt from his message, entitled How Do You Get Free?
To summarize, the three types of spirits that seek to steal, kill and destroy are tormenting sprits (which hinder), unclean spirits (which bind through forms of addiction), and evil spirits (which drive evil behavior). To overcome these spiritual forces, the book of James instructs us to submit to God and resist the devil (James 4:7). Pastor Franklin paints a roadmap to freedom by applying our faith in action through four steps: Trace it, Face it, Erase it, and Replace it.
Pride can be a silent killer, and the spirit operating behind it kept trying to choke out the joy of my salvation and limit my potential for making a difference here and in heaven. For me, that pride manifested itself through fear. Our enemy, the father of lies (Jn 8:44), tried to convince me that fear and worry were two different things, and it was only responsible of me to worry. It’s the same lie that he tells so many people. The lie goes something like this: “If you don’t have something to worry about, something bad will happen to you.” Pride wants to keep us paralyzed, numbing us to the power of the Holy Spirit who resides within us through Christ. It wasn’t until I wholeheartedly pursued fearlessness that the Lord revealed to me that fear is rooted in pride. The Holy Spirit had been preparing me for this battle in so many ways, especially with the inspiration of creating a secret meeting place with the Lord, my prayer closet. So, as soon as I received the revelation, I ran to my closet and got low before the Lord.
I began by worshiping and adoring Him, telling Him how wonderful He is and will always be. I confessed and repented of everything that would hinder me from entering into His presence. I honored and thanked Him for His forgiveness. Then, I prayed for others. That is a key that positions us to receive the favor of the Lord (Prov. 11:25). Then, I prayed for myself. I prayed something like this: “Heavenly Father, I’m not leaving here until you take this fear and pride from me…” I remember Him saying “Just let it go.” As my spirit and flesh battled it out, I saw a great dragon with the body of a serpent barging in, uninvited, and beginning to circle. I began speaking every scripture I knew. The spiritual warfare was so intense that I had to hide my face, but I didn’t quit pressing into the Lord because I knew my breakthrough was close. Still, the enemy was unrelenting. It felt like a great storm was all around me. I remember hearing the enemy say that I would die without my fear. Immediately I thought, “Since when does the enemy care about me?” I realized he was trying to defeat me with fear, so I laughed as I responded, “You’re right. I will die.” In that moment, I felt prepared for my wife to find my dead body in that closet. I pressed into the Holy Spirit, deliberately surrendering my fear and pride. It felt like approaching the apex of a rollercoaster, right before the drop. I felt the storm around me intensify and the dragon peering at me from behind, with hate in his eyes. As I reached a cliff’s edge of what felt like a bottomless chasm, I was faced with the choice of releasing the heavy bag of bricks I carried or sinking into the abyss with them. So, I just let go.
Everything around me became quiet and calm. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of peace and oneness with the Father. There was no pain – only power. The weight lifted immediately, and I realized I never had anything to fear. For the first time, I felt a righteous anger towards the enemy. I cried out to God and repented for tolerating that spirit for so long. Then, the Lord allowed me to see a physical manifestation of the destructive power of pride. It looked like a living storm, full of terror and chaos, seeking to kill everything and everyone. It had no mercy and sought to destroy everything God had created since the beginning of the world. The only reason that it was not completely free to wreak havoc was that the Lord, by the power of His Holy Spirit and working in and through the body of Christ, kept it restrained (2 Thessalonians 2:6-7).
Dying is only hard the first time. Make no mistake, pride is the source of depression, anxiety, offense, and every other sin that separates us from God and others. Trying to eliminate the root of pride in our own ability can be a painful process because it’s like pushing, pulling, and digging around an immovable tree stump. It only irritates the problem, sometimes causing it to sink deeper. However, when we ask the Holy Spirit to purge our hearts and pours out His anointing upon us, the root of pride shrivels up and dies, making it easy to erase and replace. I can tell you from personal experience that dying to pride is only hard the first time. When we make it a daily surrender, we don’t allow the seeds of pride to germinate and take root in our lives. Even still, pulling up a sapling is much easier than unearthing a tree. Remember, surrender is only hard while we wrestle with the idea. Once we make the decision, the breakthrough is instantaneous. What do you have to lose? For me, it was the weight of a heavy burden I was never meant to carry. So, make a decision and let today be the first day of the best of your life.
My Prayer – Psalm 51:7-12
Dear Heavenly Father,
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Make me hear joy and gladness,
That the bones You have broken may rejoice.
Hide Your face from my sins,
And blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
Citations: (1) 7 Places in Scripture That Reiterate How God Feels About Pride
Psalm 138:6
Though the Lord is on high,
Yet He regards the lowly;
But the proud He knows from afar.
Proverbs 3:34
Surely He scorns the scornful,
But gives grace to the humble.
Proverbs 29:23
A man’s pride will bring him low,
But the humble in spirit will retain honor.
Matthew 23:12
And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.
Luke 1:52
He has put down the mighty from their thrones,
And exalted the lowly.
James 4:6
But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”
1 Peter 5:5
Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”
Chapter Eleven: The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
When I experienced my breakthrough in freedom from fear, it was not the first or last time I would face a dragon. The devil does not know the future, but he may be aware of your assignment and will do everything in his power to prevent you from fulfilling your God-given purpose. In obedience to our Heavenly Father, Jesus spent forty days fasting in the wilderness in preparation for His assignment. The devil waited until the end of the fast, when Jesus was physically weak, tired, and hungry to tempt Him. However, what the enemy meant for evil through temptation, God meant for good, through a test, to bring about a result that would save many people (Genesis 50:20). Keep in mind, this would not be the first or last time Jesus would face temptation. “When the devil had finished every temptation, he left Him until an opportune time” (Luke 4:13). Praise the Lord for equipping us, His children, with tools to overcome when we feel overwhelmed.
The Ship often felt like a time of preparation in the wilderness, and the Holy Spirit instructed me to fast on multiple occasions for specific people and specific results, which I may write about another time. When I was obedient, I bore witness to His miraculous Glory revealed within, through, and all around me. When I was disobedient, I missed out on some victories through the forfeiture of not showing up for battle. Through those failures to engage, I learned that if I am quick to confess and repent of my pride, the grace of God will carry me through, but I forfeit experiencing His best blessings in the process.
These learning lessons continue to remind me that there is a difference between a spiritual attack and a consequence. A spiritual attack comes from the enemy trying to keep me from God’s will. A consequence is a result of ignoring God’s will.
Throughout my journey, starting in The Cave, the Lord would often remind me that a time was coming in which I would be required to Burn My Bridges to the Past by breaking old plows through the obedience of letting go of every counterfeit affection. Counterfeit affections include passions, possessions, position, performance, people, places, and power (1).
In seasons where I feel like I am losing, I must remember that God lovingly takes things away from me to make room for something better. Stagnate seasons are often a result of chronic disobedience in heeding the voice of the Lord when He instructs me to make room for Him to do something more. I show my faith in that for which I make room.
One of these counterfeit affections in my life was the company that I built. I was the first in my industry to supply a specific series of products for which there was high demand. Through this unique offering, I attracted world-renowned clients such as NASA, the NFL, the NHL, Simon Cowell, The Getty Family, Vogue Magazine, and thousands of other celebrity influencers. For years, I worked diligently to establish a nationally recognized brand until the company became self-sustaining. Despite the success, the Lord kept telling me to seek out something new. Through half-hearted attempts and indifference, I became so comfortable that I stopped listening to the still small voice of the Holy Spirit who warns us through increasing levels of intensity by way of The Ministry of the Moth (Hosea 5:12), the piercing cry of the eagle (Hosea 8:1), and the terrible roar of the lion (Hosea 5:14).
Right when The Lighthouse was in view, The Ship was attacked by pirates. Chinese counterfeiters, who lack creativity, had been stealthily ordering samples of my products to produce non-functional cheap knockoffs. By the time their shipments landed in the US, they had national distribution channels and customers were unable to identify the counterfeit goods until they failed to operate, leading to confusion and distrust across the marketplace. Overnight, my growing empire was left in ruins. With a new home in sight and a business in jeopardy, I felt the grip of fear starting to strangle the life out of me.
In desperation, I ran to the feet of Jesus, laying down prostrate, and repented for not trusting Him. When I cried out “Lord, I’m afraid,” I heard Him say, “Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). As I struggled to deal with the anxiety of a seemingly insurmountable problem, I felt the Lord encourage me to identify my fear. At that moment, I saw a fire-breathing dragon with red scales growing larger by the second. In the flesh, I knew I was no match for the beast, so I felt like running away and hiding. However, right before I thought I would surely melt with fear, I hear the Lord say, “Speak to the mountain” (Mark 11:23). So, with all the courage I could muster, I pointed to that dragon and said, “I command you to become captive and obedient to Christ, in Jesus name!” To my utter amazement, the dragon immediately began to involuntarily contort, collapsing in on itself piece by piece, until it took the form of a small chicken, bound by an equally small cage. I approached the caged chicken, examining it carefully, only to discover that it was, in fact, just a harmless chicken. I began to laugh at the absurdity of what I had just experienced, dumbfounded by the power-filled peace I had been given. In my mind, I took the cage and stored it on a shelf. It would be the first of many, a collection of captive thoughts that I had memorialized unto the Lord. In that moment, I realized the profound purpose in God’s commandment to take every thought captive. My natural tendency is to try to forget “reasonings and imaginations that exalt themselves against the knowledge of God” (2 Corinthians 10:5), but a captive thought becomes a lasting memorial and testament to the power and authority of God’s Word at work. I knew that the next time I was faced with a dragon, or any other kind of monster, I could point to the caged chicken and declare victory over every enemy. I now have shelves of chickens taken captive and made obedient to Christ. I did not understand the significance of the chicken as a symbol, but I knew that the Lord would reveal it to me in time.
After completely surrendering my business to the Lord, He showed me that it was in my best interest to temporarily close shop to pack and prepare for the move, even though I did not know what I would do once I arrived.
Soon after this experience, I was faced with another financial test of faith. As I was packing the house, I discovered a lot of valuable things that I no longer wanted or needed, so I decided to have a yard sale. While cataloging the home inventory, I heard the Lord issue me a challenge. He said, “I want you to give everything away for free.”
This was not the first time the Lord had challenged me with radical generosity, and I knew that overwhelming blessings accompany radical faith. So, I was excited about giving away so much, that is, until I discovered a hidden treasure. As I was taking pictures of some furniture that I would soon post for free, I came across an antique desk that had been given to me years prior. I never knew anything about the desk except that it was old. While looking for a maker’s mark, I stumbled upon a gold plate hidden inside one of the drawers. I typed the identifying information into a search engine and my mouth dropped. In its used condition, the desk was worth around four thousand dollars. As tempting as it was to sell the desk, I knew this was a test since I had already committed to giving it away, so I remained faithful. I prayed that a Christian person would receive the desk and that it would be a blessing to them.
I advertised the free yard sale giveaway online, but everyone thought it was a hoax. No one believed that anyone would give away perfectly good furniture, bunk beds, lawn equipment, electronics, and so much more. For weeks, people kept flagging my advertisements as fraudulent. It would have been easier for me to sell it all, but I stayed committed to the commandment. Eventually, I received a response about the antique desk. The day of the pickup, a young man rang my doorbell. As I opened the door and extended my hand to greet him, he said, “Hi, my name is Christian.” He looked at me funny as I stood there laughing. I explained the situation as well as my prayer request, which God answered in an unmistakable way. He explained that he was just starting college, which he was paying for out of pocket, and his only possessions were a laptop, a mattress, and a dresser. He had been praying for a desk when he saw my free listing. He was barely able to afford school that semester, so I encouraged him to sell the desk to help with his expenses. We both praised God as he exclaimed, “This is a miracle!”
Out of the hundreds of people who saw my free listings, only three had the faith to believe it was true. The blessing was so abundant for those few that they had to take multiple trips to move everything. We were all filled with joy and laughter the whole time. “The blessing of the LORD makes truly rich, and he adds no sorrow with it” (Proverbs 10:22).
Weeks later, I remember eating at IHOP after church one Sunday, shortly after moving into The Lighthouse. Gazing out the window, I noticed a tall monolith in the middle of the town square. It had a sculpture of a chicken adorning the top. As I stared at the strange statue, I am sure I had a look of puzzlement on my face. The server, noticing my posture, said, “You must not be from around here. Welcome to the chicken capital of the world.” Little did I know that the city in which The Lighthouse stood was such a place. I praised God for preparing me in advance to be a blessing to the people of that wonderful city. From then on, anytime someone in my community expressed fearful thoughts, I was able to share my testimony about taking every thought captive, and in a way in which they could identify. I continue to receive testimonies of breakthrough as I stay committed to the commandment.
I learned that when fear tries to grip me, even as a consequence of my own sin, my Heavenly Father is still patient and kind, His Word is still powerful and effective, and all His promises are yes and amen.
Chapter Twelve: The Final Frontier
As I write a last chapter to this never-ending testimony, I am reminded of a dream I had very recently. In my dream, I was given a bird’s eye view within the sanctuary of a modern evangelical church in America. As the pastor preached, bright and magnificent swords descended from heaven and landed on the stage behind the pulpit. The church leadership then started distributing the swords to each member of the congregation. One by one, each person received a beautiful sword and took it with them, rejoicing over the gift. And one by one, each person went home and carefully placed their sword in the most prominent place they could find. Some chose to display their gift from heaven above the fireplace, while others chose to adorn the coffee table with their prize. Some households even had swords in every room. Week after week, the congregation returned to church to receive a word of encouragement. However, even though every member owned a sword, few had ever experienced victory. Miracles became a myth, curses a crutch, and struggles remained the same. The problem was that many of the modern pastors were distributing swords without teaching people how to use them, thus allowing the enemy forces to easily defeated vast armies of Christian soldiers ill-equipped for battle.
In my dream, the sword represents the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. A person who simply owns a sword is nothing more than a collector of relics, but a person who knows how to wield that sword is deadly. Holding a Bible does not give a person any authority. Knowing what it says and how to “rightly divide the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15) positions that person to walk confidently in victory. “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).
I am so thankful for Free Chapel and Pastor Jentezen Franklin. Under his leadership, I have grown more in spiritual maturity than any other place on earth. The many giftings of Pastor Franklin are only outweighed by his genuine humility. He truly has the character of Christ. When faced with difficult decisions, it is most often his voice that I hear, shepherding me back to the fold and leading me in paths of righteousness. If you are ready to start walking in spiritual authority like never before, I would like to encourage you to pursue one or more of the discipleship training programs available through Free Chapel ministries, which include the following:
- Next Steps
- Small Groups
- School of Discipleship
- Serving Opportunities
- Free Chapel College
- Free Chapel Mentorship
After graduating from the Free Chapel School of Discipleship as well as a mentorship program, I received an unexpected job opportunity in an unexpected industry. I had not planned on working for anyone else again, but God had different plans. Little did I know that He was preparing me for even greater influence than ever before. In later posts, I will share more about my new adventures and how my team and I are developing new technologies that will change the world and bring honor to the Lord.
As I reflect on my journey, perhaps one of the most thought-provoking elements is the inevitability of Free Chapel becoming my home. Throughout my time living in The Cave, I was a member of a local church, which later moved locations. Shortly after moving into The Lighthouse, I learned that a Free Chapel pastor who wrote the original curriculum for School of Discipleship decided to start his own church and moved into the vacant building of my old church. It is amazing to think that even if I had ignored the voice of the Lord and glued myself to one of those church pews, I would still be sitting under Free Chapel leadership. “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His mercy endures forever” (Psalm 136).